Quick – ask yourself, “Who is the me I want to be?”
Such a simple question, but for so many of us it is often a difficult one to answer. We know how to set goals at work, take steps to achieve them, and recognize our successes. However, most of us simply don’t think of ourselves outside of what we do or what we believe others want us to be. This causes us to lose sight of ourselves and fail to attend to who we are as individuals. As a therapist, I often ask clients to tell me about themselves. The answer involves their profession, where they went to school, their kids or spouse, etc. Most people don’t think about themselves as a person separate from what they do.
You Are More Than What You Do
But people are so much more than this. We are unique in every imaginable way. We may see or be exposed to the same thing, but our emotional and internal reactions are uniquely our own. These internal processes make up our personal identity just as much as the outside labels defined by what we do.
So, with this realization in mind, how do we start to answer this question? First, we need to understand that we get to define “the me I want to be” in spite of societal expectations, norms, and our experiences. To do this, we look to our values and beliefs. A value is a person’s principles or standards of behavior – aka, our judgment of what is important in life. A belief on the the other hand is what a person trusts, has faith in, has confidence in, etc. We first have to define our values and beliefs by determining what is truly important to us in life. Once we do this, we can begin to better formulate an answer to “the me I want to be” question.
You Control “The Me You Want To Be”
The me I want to be is a choice, and this choice is all our own. We can choose to rely on how society defines us or be trapped in a repeating pattern of our past. Or, we can define what is truly important to us in life and move in a forward direction. What we need is already inside of us. We just need to tap into our beliefs, our values, our understanding of right and wrong, and make a choice. Making this choice does not guarantee a perfect life. All of us will have trials. However, if we stay as consistent as possible in our commitment to our values and beliefs we can live more satisfied and happy lives.
